laranatalie

Sorry guys - I've been so slack the last few months!! Truth be told I haven't even taken a decent photo since my trip to Canberra back in October!!

However that is about to change!!

In just over 3 weeks I'm off to spend 9 glorious days on holidays in Singapore. I'm so excited i can barely contain myself! And I will make a big promise to all of you know - HEAPS & HEAPS of photos will be taken and I promise to post the best and most interesting ones to Buzznet!

And now that our long Christmas break is here I look forward to checking out everyone's pics - I have a lot of catching up to do :)

Merry Christmas

Last week I farewelled a friend as he travelled to Afghanistan to lead his men in war. Todd is a young, dedicated soldier who has done all his family and friends proud. This week we were surprised and delighted to see him in many of our national papers as he was preparing for the huge task ahead of him. I know many people are against war, but I just wanted to highlight the courage and effort our soldiers give and say how proud, and if not a little nervous, we as there loved ones are. Please keep these young men and women in your thoughts and pray for there safe return home.

Here is one of the articles including Todd.

http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,,25905470-662,00.html

Let me know your thoughts and comments.

Like everyone has experienced, I'm suffering from a broken heart.

Summer romance fallen apart. Hearts that cannot aline as their owners have to be in two different places.

There has been longing, torment, hurt feelings, joyous heart swelling, tears, smiles, laughter, long silences, extensive talking, declarations of joy, frustration and anger, tender sweet nothings, harsh revelations, drunken ramblings and careful responses.  And all this has occured with us living hundreds of kilometres apart. 

Distance sucks, matters of the heart are always sensitive and hard to deal with and the unknown path of the future is scary and frustrating.

If I could be anywhere in the world, it would be in his arms.

Are any of you on the phenomenon known as Twitter??

I'm very new to the site and I wondered if any of my lovely buzznet friends were using it. If you are let me know and I'll add you!

Tweet.

Thanks for your patience guys! This chapter isn't very long as I have been preoccupied elsewhere and I'm finding it hard to write this story at the moment with a lot going on in my life. But I hope you all enjoy Chapter 7 :)

Town had been a fairly unexciting event although I had spent most of the morning psyching up the nerve to head into town. I was still nervous of my reactions around people and the detriment an empty brain plagued on me. What if people recognised me and wanted to chat? Even though I was small town gossip, they still came and chatted to me frequently forgetting I knew few names and certainly can’t remember the time I swam with their kids at the creek during one of my summer visits with Aunt Joanie and Uncle Roy. But I had to also take in their kindness, the type of true, sincere kindness that can only be found in the country.

The farmers markets in Silver Creek had been successful with Joanie and I rushed off our feet at our market stall. We had little to unpack from the old ute when we returned home to the farm as the majority of our goods had been sold.

I hefted a foam box of potatoes, a trade-off from another market holder for some of our butter nut pumpkins, from the back of the ute as Joanie grabbed a cardboard box of empty glass jars. I guess more jam making was now on the job list. However my afternoon was already occupied -  James and his mysterious coffee outing.

I yawned loudly as I lugged the heavy box towards the house.

‘Gees Claire, you could have landed a Boeing 747 in your mouth just then!’ Joanie cheekily remarked.

‘Sorry I’m just so tired!’ I replied as I stretched my neck gently from side to side.

‘Must be all that farm work, hey! Good for you! You are looking better everyday!’ Joanie commented carrying her carton inside the unlocked front door.

‘Must be!’ I drowsily smiled, hiding my true fears behind my tiredness.

Every night the past week I would wake several times to the sounds of voices and noises, scarily familiar yet unidentifiable. My heart would be racing like a freight train each and every time and it would take me several minutes to calm my heart rate and at least an hour to reassure myself enough to fall back into sleep. Although my sleep could rarely be described as restful. Dreams filled with scenarios accompanied by the same feeling of familiarity yet I was unable to identify what was actually occurring. Even after sleep I would wake long before dawn more drained of energy than when I first hauled myself into bed. Most mornings now I was willing the sun to rise just so I could escape from my bed that was not becoming uncomfortable to bear. Even though I felt like a walking zombie it was better than the racing heart and spinning mind that now accompanied my sleep.

I was hoping that today’s coffee outing would give me the caffeine hit my mind craved to keep me awake and at a distance from the night-time demons.   

Sorry guys I haven't been posting or commenting this week - I've just got a lot going on at the moment!

I promise I'll be back ASAP :)

Love to all, Lara 

As I sat on the swing seat nestled under the eastern side of the wide veranda I weighted the cordless phone in one hand and James’ number in the other. My already cloudy mind was more baffled than ever. Why would James leave me his number? Perhaps he was going to offer me his dry cleaning bill or give me the date of my court appearance for attacking a stranger with a hose! I smiled to myself at the thought.

The number was a landline, not a mobile. Joanie said she thought this bizarre in the modern age when most people, especially young people, used mobile phones. Mobiles frustrated Aunt Joanie no end, as a woman who was techno-phobic and always complained that despite people having mobiles she found with certainty that most people would answer their home phones with more frequency then mobile phones. This is the same woman who refused to have a computer, a fax machine or even a DVD player. Yet Joanie is the type of person who could hold a conversation with anyone, littered with knowledge and worldliness and leaves you feeling the same. Not bad for a lady who has spent her entire life in one town, married to one man, biding the last 35 years of her life running a small farm and spends more time conversing with chickens than humans.   

Stretching across the cushion clad swing seat I typed the number I had been staring at for ten minutes into the phone. The ringing tone sounded as the line connected then suddenly my stomach developed a slight churning sensation. Why did the nervousness hit my after the phone began to ring? I couldn’t hang up now!

‘Hello’

I recognised Sandra’s voice immediately. Why couldn’t James have answered the phone? I hadn’t even thought of what I was going to say to him and now I had to think of what to say to his mother without making an even worse impression than a few days previous.

‘Good morning, or is it afternoon now?’ I stammered trying to shuffle up my left sleeve one-handed to see my watch. Great start!

‘It’s still morning Claire! How are you darling?’

I was stunned Sandra recognised my voice and it took me another moment to compose myself.

‘Fine thanks. I was just returning...’

‘James’ phone call’ she interrupted ‘I’ll grab him for you. Just a moment’

I heard her set the phone down before I had time to respond. Now the butterflies were back, doing some type of acrobatic technique in my stomach. They grew worse as the time stretch on for what felt like an eternity before I heard the distinct scrap of the phone being pick up off its perch.

‘Well hello Claire’ came the cheery yet ever so slightly slurry voice.

‘I’m sorry did I wake you?’

‘Do you always only apologise to people or can you manage normal conversation?’ James replied cheekily, now more alert.

‘No, sorry!’ Oh dear! ‘I mean, yes I can actually hold a conversation. I was just returning. ..’

‘My call. Thanks.’ Like mother, like son. ‘I was hoping Joanie would pass on the message. She said you were very busy. I assumed by that she meant you were talking to the goats again and I suggested she not interrupt you in fear of getting drenched!’

‘Actually I was picking peas!’ I stated with some inflection of importance ‘Why wouldn’t she have passed it on?’

Was there something I should know about James?

‘Well I know she is very protective of you at the moment’ he casually answered.

‘Oh’ I awkwardly responded.

‘Well I did ring earlier with a purpose’ James stated, filling the awkward silence ‘ Joanie had been telling my mother of your love of coffee and as we share this interest I wanted to know if you would like to come for a drive with me to Brownell tomorrow for a caffeine fix? I’m in desperate need of a little cafe culture!’

‘I, ah, have the markets - tomorrow!’ I stuttered realising I had been a topic of conversation.

‘I know, Joanie told me that when I she enquired what I was calling you about! Like I told you – protective!’

That would explain Joanie’s coy look when she handed me James’ number earlier.

‘So what about in the afternoon after the markets?’ he asked again.

‘Okay!’ I was down to one word answers. I was coming across very intelligent. And why had I agreed? I didn’t really know this young man!

‘It’s set then. I’ll see you tomorrow, 3pm at Joanie’s. Bye’

‘Bye’ I stammered before the line went dead.

At that moment, Joanie walked out with a cup of tea in each hand.

‘Going for coffee then? ‘

I rolled my eyes at her then accepted the cup from her outstretched hand.

‘I’m not sure that the rational part of my brain wasn’t affected as well in the accident!’ I said before sipping the steaming milky tea.

Joanie just smiled and sipped her tea. ‘He’s a nice boy Claire,’ she thoughtfully said ‘and it will do you the world of good to get out and chat with someone your own age.’   

I nodded absently, uncertain of my own opinion on the topic of my social habits.

‘What can it hurt?’ Joanie replied to my thoughts.

It's 2 hours into the new year and I thought I better come up with some resolutions to start the year with when I wake up later in the morning.

1. Not sweat the small stuff - a bad habit

2. Be better to the environment - I'm not always a very good environmentalist!

3. Be not so afraid

4. Try and be happier, accept who I am and appreciate the wonderful things I have in my life.

Tomorrow, or today really after I've had some sleep, I am going to post a journal outlining number 4 in more detail. I encourage others to do the same - list the things that make you who you are and why you are special and unique. You may just be amazed at who you really are!

Well happy new year everyone!!!

Love and peace to all :)

Top 10 Albums of 2008

1.       Fast Times at Barrington Times – The Academy Is...

2.       Only By The Night - Kings of Leon

3.       Other Voices, Other Rooms – The Getaway Plan

4.       Konk – The Kooks

5.       Pretty. Odd. – Panic At The Disco

6.       Oracular Spectacular – MGMT

7.       Narrow Stairs - Death Cab for Cutie

8.       Viva La Vida – Coldplay

9.       Vampire Weekend – Vampire Weekend

10.   Intimacy – Bloc Party

Top 10 Songs of 2008 (according to my i-Tunes!)

1.       Mad As Rabbits – Panic At The Disco

2.       Sex on Fire – Kings of Leon

3.       Electric Feel - MGMT

4.       Where The City Meets The Sea – The Getaway Plan

5.       Always Where I Need To Be – The Kooks

6.       I Kissed A Girl – Katy Perry (guaranteed to get everyone on the dancefloor and produce the most ridiculous of dance moves, high up due to too many house parties)

7.       Decode - Paramore

8.       I Don’t Care – Fall Out Boy

9.       Walking On A Dream – Empire of the Sun

10.   About A Girl – The Academy Is...

Many may not agree but TAI’s album made my smile from start to finish and dragged me back to my teenage years filled with drama, angst and friends loved and lost! William Beckett achieved his goal with at least one long time fan! Stella work guys J

As for Panic’s number 1 effort in my i-Tunes well deal with it – the song makes absolutely no sense but you can sing along with it as effortlessly as Brendon Urie’s luscious vocals can!

Top 10 things in general of 2008 in the World of Lara

1.       The Academy Is..., Panic At The Disco and Cobra Starship touring together in Australia – the best 3 ½ hours of my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2.       Twilight – the novel not the film!

3.       Robert Pattinson – didn’t say I hated everything about the film

4.       Moving into my new place

5.       Finishing university – finally, woohoo!

6.       My new camera – only took me 5 years to get a new one :)

7.   Ryan Ross making RayBans cool again!

8.       Finding the perfect little black dress – box ticked!

9.       A new US president (elect) – I may not be American but everything that happens there affects us here in Australia, I smell change in the air.

10.   My hometown getting a McDonald’s – sad but true! I can now get a coffee after 3pm on any given day. I have been denied this my whole life in my little beloved country town. Only a true caffeine addict could understand my excitement!

The garden blossomed and burst with its bounty. Though this meant Joanie and I were kept particularly busy, of course I relished this fact. Tomorrow was market day in Silver Creek so we had been up since dawn picking ripe fruit and vegetables; carrots, peas, beetroot, eggplants, broccoli, Jerusalem artichoke, tomatoes, peaches, plums and finger staining mulberries. We would be taking the fresh produce along with Joanie’s preserves and home baking into the Silver Creek town hall first thing the following morning. Joanie held a table their every second Sunday of the month and had done since the markets inception more than a decade ago. Her passion was market gardening and ‘living from the land and your own hands’ as much as she could maintain, and she would impart her wisdom and enthusiasm on anyone who would stand still long enough. I was looking forward to going with Aunt Joanie. The trip to town was a slightly less daunting with an accomplice.

As the week had continued the weather had gotten warmer. I don’t think the farm will see any more snow until next year. I was sad as the thought of snow excited me, or maybe it was just Joanie’s stories of icy adventures. Joanie had been telling me how I use to toboggan down the little hill behind the house when I came to visit with my father in the winter time. When I questioned her about my mother’s absence from these memories Joanie quickly attempted to change the topic.

I had found the plastic red toboggan in the work shed last week. As I carried my basket of parsley sprigs into the work shed I glanced over to the dusty toboggan leaning up against the back wall. 

Why hadn’t my mother been here with us? My parents were separated, according to Joanie, and they still lived together in Melbourne. I abandoned my basket on one of the work benches.

Crossing the cluttered shed I spied many relics of Joanie’s past, I wonder how many of my past memories are linked in here. A trike missing a wheel hung from the roof on an old s-bend hook, a few sets of worn snow skis in varying sizes stack on the wooden rafters of the roof and large plastic tubs filled with Christmas decorations stored under some of the workbenches. I reached the toboggan. Running fingers I could feel tiny ripples along its edge, signs of its much use.

 Suddenly a feeling of terror spread through my chest. I gripped the edge of the toboggan with both hands, knuckles white. I heard a child’s terrified scream. Dropping the toboggan from my now shaking hands, it fell to the floor with a crash. I momentarily followed it to the ground. The world spun, the floor spun, the room spun, my head spun. Sitting on the floor I concentrated on willing my mind to stop. As panic took over, I could sense my blood speeding through my veins and heard a whooshing in my ears. What on earth had just happened? The vision seemed so real, the scream, the voice itself. I breathed slowly making sure that the oxygen was travelling to my scattered brain.

‘Claire’ yelled a voice.

No I definitely heard that.

‘Claire, morning tea! Where are you girly?’

I breathed deeply, refocussing and pulled myself up from the floor, slowly. My head was fuzzy but it wasn’t spinning quite so wildly as before. I grabbed the twine from the work bench and my abandoned basket of parsley.

My mission as I entered the door was to find some paracetamol for my throbbing head. I was still a little confused and beginning to feel a little queasy.

‘Well I should take the hose to men more often’ chuckled Aunt Joanie as she held out a torn piece of note paper as I walked through the kitchen ‘James rang looking for you.’

Surprised I took the paper from Joanie ‘Really!’

She gave me a coy look as she continued stirring what looked to be another cake batter.

I picked off pieces of partially dried cake batter that smattered the scribbled number. Maybe now wouldn’t be the right time to tell Aunt Joanie of my morning brain flip out.

‘Why don’t you come inside for a cuppa? Give you a chance to dry off by the fire James.’

Before James could respond, Sandra answered, too quickly ‘No we best be keeping on into town then home thanks Joanie’ her eyes darting to James’ still sheepish face ‘James has had a long day’.

At this comment his face dropped and for the first time I noticed the purple shadows under his brown eyes. He certainly did look tired on closer inspection.

Quick to sense the mood change and never one to press a subject, Joanie turned and headed back towards the house. ‘I’ll just grab that food for you Sandra. You’re a real angel for doing this run for me. Give us time to get a head start on the strawberry jam’ she called back over her shoulder.

Trying to lighten the mood as James and Sandra walked off I added ‘Sorry again about attacking you with the hose. I promise it won’t happen again!’

Sandra and James turned slightly and gave a half hearted laugh then continued onto the house. The cheekiness had now gone from James’ face and he no longer maintained eye contact with anyone, just followed his mother to the veranda where Joanie was waiting with her nursing home desert supply neatly package in a large cardboard fruit box. Deciding silence was golden I pulled the paddock gate shut behind me and headed after the others.

After a change of clothes I took up my place across from Joanie at the large wooden table in the centre of the kitchen. Here was her easel, the place of creation.

I was given the task of hulling the strawberries. Joanie had rinsed them while I was de-mudding myself and the little fruits now lay glossy and even more irresistible in a white bowl beside me. When I attempted to slyly pop one in my mouth Joanie would rouse and threaten to send me back outside. The rain was now bucketing down and the temperature was dropping rapidly. However the kitchen was toasty warm, as always, due to the large stove, which always had something cooking away in its belly. The homes wood fire was located at the end of the kitchen that opened onto the open plan lounge and dining area. Aunt Joanie called it her version of central heating. As much as I scoffed at this, it certainly did its work for downstairs. As for upstairs, where the three bedrooms were located, there was no heating at all. One could just be thankful for woollen socks and duck down duvets!  

As I continued to free the strawberries of their little green caps I replayed this mornings’ awkward turn of events. What on earth had caused such a change in mood? Had I sworn without noticing? Had the jacket wetting been such a huge drama – I know it was most likely an expensive item of clothing, coming from a Mulholland wardrobe, but surely standing in the sprinkling rain had already made it damp?

I couldn’t figure what had gone wrong! Since they had left, I theorised on what the Mulholland’s story was – domineering mother/push-over adult son relationship was my conclusion.

It appears I’m not the only one with a strained parent-child relationship.

Chapter 3

I actually found the constant patter of the rain against my parka comforting as I foraged for strawberries. Despite their ruby colour they were hard to find amongst the dense foliage in the large strawberry patch. It was also hard to resist scoffing the plump little fruits as I picked my way through the west side. Aunt Joanie hummed an unknown tune as she plucked broad beans from their vine homes. It was coming into Spring and, even despite the still cool weather, the garden was bursting with produce.  

The garden was Joanie’s favourite place, her solace and much of her livelihood. There was a constant procession of visitors through the farm gate for Aunt Joanie’s fresh produce and home cooking. Most left with canvas bags and boxes filled with tomatoes, cucumbers, corn, bunches of parsley and basil, dried lavender, strawberry and plum jams and no-one departed without a little cellophane wrapped package of Joanie’s famous caramel fudge.

‘Have you filled that basket yet?’ called Aunt Joanie from between the bean plants.

‘Just about’ I called back after a quick inspection. I was surprised that my little wicker basket was almost full despite my weak moments of strawberry indulgence.

‘Then can you feed the nannies? They are starting to make a fuss and the last thing I need is for them to break into my zucchini’s again!’

I nodded my head in confirmation. I stood rubbing my dirt smudged hands on my jeans. Farm work was not something I thought I would enjoy. In fact I would confirm that I even relish my time outside now.

When I first came to Plum Tree Bend I never thought I would step further than the enclosed wooden veranda. My first days were spent cooped up in bed coming to terms with what I couldn’t come to terms with – I had lost everything of my former life. Isolated, confused, angry, depressed, lost. In two weeks I had travelled through a spectrum of emotions.

It was Joanie who convinced me, slowly at first, to head out with her into the garden and began showing me the works of the farm. Feeding chickens, selecting tomatoes for drying, moving the goats to new paddocks and pruning, planting and picking in the enormous vegetable garden were now regular parts of my day. They kept my hands and my mind busy. I also felt I was earning my keep in return for my board with Joanie.

Oprah, Barbara, Diana and Celine also had a part to play in my recovery. These four nanny goats definitely lived up to their names. I’m certain they were convinced they ran the farm, not their master Joanie. The band of small horned divas could frequently be found harassing their paddock partner Tessa the sound tan thoroughbred, chasing the ducks out of their pasture and eating anything within the grasp of the yellow teeth including vegetables and fruits plant, roots and all, greying leaves of the silver birch trees along the driveway and even items of washed clothes straight off the line.

While I was refilling their bathtub water trough I chatted mindlessly to the four goats as the chewed on the hay and seed mix I had just added to their feed tray. ‘So what do you think I should do next?’ I asked Celine who gave me a sideways glance before backing up behind the feed tray.

‘Well I think you should definitely stop talking to goats to start with’ said a deep male voice.

I was so startled I fell backwards from my crouched position beside the trough and landed square into a puddle. Immediately I felt the cold mud and water soak into my jeans. To add to my elegant manoeuvre I managed to wet my unannounced visitor with the uncontrolled garden hose as it left my hands and whipped around like a crazed snake. I looked up at him horrified.

‘I deserved that for sneaking up on a young lady!’ he laughed offering a hand to me.

Still in stunned surprise I reached up for the hand that was attached to a young dark haired man wearing a, now wet, blue blazer, checked scarf and deep coloured jeans. He certainly looked out of place in these surrounds. He also had nowhere to wipe his muddy right hand. I groaned inwardly. Could I destroy his immaculately cool facade anymore?

‘Sorry’ I apologised for my multitude of sins.

‘I’m James’ he stated with a smile, apparently brushing aside my apology.

‘I’m Claire’ I responded with a smile. It was all I could offer taking stock of my current fashionable appearance – no make-up, dirt stained jeans and green parka, muddy boots and a grey cotton cap shoved over my un-brushed hair that was sticking out in all different directions.   

‘James. Did you find her?’ called a voice I recognised to belong to Sandra Mulholland. I groaned again, outwardly this time.

‘Oh Claire! I know you don’t recognise many people but James isn’t a stranger. There’s no need to chase him off with the hose!’ Aunt Joanie said rolling her eyes as she walked over to us with Sandra standing beside her wearing an amused expression.

‘My fault’ James confirmed with a sheepish look.

‘Let’s call it your country re-christening’ laughed Joanie.

I got inspired and wrote the second chapter this morning.

Chapter 2

I managed to swing my body out of the double bed after a short deliberation in the merits of staying tuck deep in my safe cocoon of blankets or investigating what smelt so good downstairs. Food won. The wooden floor is decidedly cold under my bare feet. Only my crazy Aunt Joanie would have wood floors throughout a house that is built in a climate where the temperature rarely climbs above freezing.  I peeked my face through the horrid lace curtains framing the boxy window in the bedroom. No snow, it was gently sprinkling rain though. I couldn’t hear it taping on the tin roof over the calamity downstairs. The sounds of pans clanging against the stove tops and draws being yanked and slammed have suddenly become apparent as I am drawn out of my sleepy daze.  What on earth is she doing, feeding an army that I was unaware of? There were possibilities of this. How was I to know if Aunt Joanie was a former army culinary?

As I stood at the door of the kitchen I watched Aunt Joanie work her magic in her second favourite place. She was an extraordinary cook. The morsels she produced could make even the most dedicated of supermodels succumb to a 5 course meal of Joanie’s creation.

‘Where on earth are your slippers?’ she scolded, pointing a batter covered spatula at me to make her point.  ‘You are still the same girl in so many ways. Never wearing socks, always forgetting to put on your rain jacket, never wearing sunscreen in the summer. How on earth you ever became a personal assistant is beyond me!’

I stored these little facts about my past away in the fairly empty pocket that is my mind. NB: was hopeless forgetful even before massive head trauma.

 I must have been wearing a hurt expression as my Aunt looked back at me with a softened face, ‘No you were just always more concerned with everyone else, and put yourself second every time. Now for goodness sake you scrawny little thing come and eat some breakfast ’.

The breakfast bench was covered with cookbooks, assorted ingredients, cake containers and a fine but noticeable film of flour. She must have been baking for hours. I suddenly felt incredibly lazy as I cleared a spot for the plate containing my breakfast.

‘Now hurry up and get that in your mouth. We have work to do!’ Aunt Joanie stated excitedly as she nodded towards the garden outside.

‘Outside!  But it’s raining!’ I managed to squeak back with a mouth full of pancake.

‘Your jacket and boots are by the door. And may I suggest that you change out of your pyjamas and into something more appropriate. I’m not going into town until Sunday. We can get you some more gear then’ she said untying her apron and setting a timer which she popped into her pocket.  

Now I wished I had stayed in my cocoon. Damn Joanie and her food. The food.

‘Then how is all this food getting to the nursing home?’ I had watched my aunt create sweets and treats for an old folk’s home over the past fortnight. Every second day she would load up the old Toyota with these goodies and drive the 27 kilometres to town. Joanie had told me that this was one of her cash jobs, helped her maintain the little farm she ran with her husband Roy before he passed away a few years back.

‘Sandra is coming to pick it up after lunch.’

I had met Sandra Mulholland. She had dropped in several times since my arrival at Plum Tree Bend. A bubbly woman who liked to laugh, especially when her and Aunt Joanie sat on the veranda and drank sherry from old vegemite glasses and shared stories of times past, the comfort that comes with being friends with someone for over forty years. Sandra lived with her husband on another little farmlet on the other side of town. I had not met him though Aunty Joanie told me that he liked to keep to himself. How could someone so bubbly be married to someone who was quiet?

‘It’s a little out of her way?’ I enquired. I was still learning the lay of the land here in Silver Creek. This was not where I had grown up not that I would have remembered it if I had.

‘Well she offered as she is fetching her son from the airport. It’s over this side of town remember ’

I did remember but I also remembered that the plane only came in on Wednesday and Saturday as it buzzed us on these days. Today was Tuesday.

As though reading my mind Joanie responded ‘Money dear! Private charter. The Mulholland’s are not short a dollar.’

I accepted this answer as I dragged myself upstairs to find some appropriate gardening attire whilst Joanie packed her products of this morning’s baking session with military precision. Maybe she had been in the army after all.  

Chapter  1

Breathe in, breathe out. Repeat.

At least I remember the basics of life. Little can be said for the rest of my brain. It’s like a gumball machine that someone has knocked over and all the little coloured balls have scattered beyond reach. Some have rolled under a cabinet, some down the stairs, others just taken never to be returned. I just hope whoever has my memories hasn’t mindlessly, carelessly chewed them up and thrown them in the trash when they are bored with them. 

I roll over in bed, stretching my sleep stiffened limbs and take account of my surroundings. I was still in the bedroom I had been holdup in for the past two weeks, the spare bedroom of my aunt’s house. That means two weeks since the accident, since my world changed. To look at, I still look exactly as I did before the accident. Same short chocolate brown hair, same blue eyes, same small frame, same fair lifeless skin. The only tell tale sign that anything has changed is the gravel rash type graze on my right temple and the fact that I have no memory of my life prior to a fortnight ago. Not a thing. I don’t remember a aingle birthday party, I have no recollection of my school days, I can’t even recall if I have ever ridden a bicycle. I am a blank canvas.

Two weeks ago on my regular commute home from work I was standing on Platform 7 at Town Hall one moment and under the 16.25 all-stops to Blackheath train the next.  My understanding has been constructed by the endless accounts given by the strangers witness to my accident and relayed back to me by my Aunt. I have the feeling though that I am not being told the entire truth.  I think I am developing trust issues. I wonder if I had those before.

It’s amazing. One step can change your life.

The first chapter. I decided to add it. Tell me if you are interested in more :) Also I have titled it 'Plum Tree Bend'.

I have written several children's books that I would like to attempt to get published however this is my first attempt at long format fiction.

This is the opening of the novel. Short but a start.

It rolled down my face.

Onto the floor.

The cold, hard floor.

Salt on wood. Water on earth.

This cold, hard floor had become my home, my only comfort. Oh the irony. The things I was missing were warmth, emotion, love. My comfort proved to be my cold, hard, innate bathroom floor.

If I saw another white lily, endured another sympathy hug or heard another “It’s better this way” my head was going to implode.

How could it be better this way? How could being heartbroken, alone and shattered be better? Did he know it was going to be like this for me? Did he actually think I could survive this?

The endless questions. I don’t have the strength to do this to myself again. Thinking has gotten me nowhere, except back to the bathroom floor.

Thanks for reading. I'll accept all feedback :)

Well that's certainly one way to destroy one of the most intruguing novel storylines of recent years!

Before I ramble on I will concede that entertainment wise I did enjoy the film. I just spent the entire viewing trying to pretend that it had nothing to do with the Stephenie Meyer epic!

I'm not going to spill what annoyed me most - I don't want to spoil it for others - but I do want to state this: WHY THE HELL DID MS HARDWICKE DECIDE SHE HAD TO ENTIRELY CHANGE THE STORY'S PROCESS!!!!!!!

The result was a flat, unemotive flash-by of someone who only half-arsed glanced and the story and thought 'I can make a buck out of this!'. Where the hell was "Do I dazzle you?" ?

Bottom line - so much potential, so a mediocre result. Stephenie Meyer's fans will be disappointed. Robert Pattinson isn't even given the chance to be the Edward we all fell in love with and Bella, well I honestly don't even think people will give Bella much thought as we weren't give much to work with. As I said, disappointing.

I do suggest that people go to view the film, even if purely for two hours of Robert Pattinson and a killer soundtrack.

Superficial - yes! Tonnes of fun regardless - absolutely!!

Here are my top 10 guys - mostly based on appearance (see,superficial) and a bit of their public personality, and also that I would really like to photograph them. Feel free to agree or totally bag me out :)

10. Gerard Way

Talent. Soul. Emotional. Peoples hero. Enough said.

9. George Clooney

Classic favourite! Age has done him well :)

8. Callan Mulvey

Always the bad boy - always the one the girls want!

7. Ryan Ross

The guy wears Raybans and digs the Beatles - makes him awesome in my books!!

6. Ami James

He does some creative shit!!

5. Michael Cera

I just wanna hug him!!

4. Robert Pattinson

He's Edward! Argument over!!

3. Frank Iero

I've been a Frank fan forever and I still adore the little man

2. William Beckett

He serenades me to sleep every night and I adore his mannerisms.

1. Jason Segal

If I could marry anyone I don't know it would be this guy! I may have already seen 'everything he has to hide' but he just brings a smile to my face. I always adore the quirky, slightly geeky sweet-at-heart guys :)

So there you go!! Hope you enjoyed - please do this, it's great fun :)

In Australia October is being celebrated by Life Education as Ocsober! People over 18 (Australian legal drinking age) are encourage to abstain from drinking for the month of October. This year I'm participating to prove a point - that you can go out and not drink and still have a great time!

For more info check out the website

www.ocsober.com.au

Idea borrowed from xcalibur :)

1. Mad As Rabbits - Panic At The Disco

2. Desert Song - My Chemical Romance

3. Crowded Room - The Academy Is...

4 The Ghost of You - My Chemical Romance

5. The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars

6. Everything We Had - The Academy Is...

7 Snakes on a Plane - Cobra Starship

8. Hallujah - Paramore

9. Where The City Meets The Sea - The Getaway Plan

10. Helena - My Chem

11. Neighbours - The Academy Is...

12. Smile for the Paparazzi - Cobra Starship

13. Earthquake - The Used

14. Gotta Be Alone - Mansions

15. When The Day Met the Night - Panic At The Disco

16. About A Girl - The Academy Is...

17. Mama - My Chemical Romance

18. Cat and Mouse - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

19. The Great Escape - Boys Like Girls

20. Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen

21. Find A Way - The Used

22. That's What You Get - Paramore

23. Attack - 30 Seconds to Mars

24. The City Is A War - Cobra Starship

25. I'm Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chem

So predictable :)

This hasn't happened to me since I was thirteen and read 'Emma' by Jane Austen. I adored Mr Knightly!

Now I Have fallen desperately in love with Edward Cullen from Stephenie Meyer's book series. I've read the first two books in the last week and I'm a third of the way through the fourth. And I'm already declaring this is the best literature series I have EVER read. That's saying a lot as I am what you would call a bookworm :)

Has anybody else in Buzznetland read these books (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Breaking Dawn)? I'm certain people have as they are on the bestsellers list!

Let me know if I'm the only one with this little obsession, as I have a sneaking suspicion I am not!